~take it if it serves you~
I love choosing words of intention. I love a self-improvement plan. But you know what?
This year, I’m good.
I know how to care for my body. I’ve EMDR’ed and IFS’ed my way to finding my felt sense of safety and a strong, loving, more flexible Self. I’ve cultivated equilibrium with my chosen community and built a career that satisfies my values. Do I still have rough days and flair ups and panic attacks? Sure, and also, I know how to care for myself. Every time I give myself what I need, I continue to build trust in myself.
What if YOU already know too? Our whole lives people told us we’re not enough as we are. We’re not optimized. We think if we just do that one more new thing, then we’ll arrive at some mystical summit of perfection and calm.
But what if we already have the tools and skills we need? So many of the people I work with have shelves full of how-to-be-a-better-human books. They bought new planners to fill with daily workouts, scripture readings, water intake charts. What if we don’t need another set of huge goals? What if we focus instead on what we already know?
You Can If You Want To exercise:
Set a timer for 7 minutes and write out (or use my favorite – talk to text dictation!), what’s felt good and safe and nourishing in the past. Was it yoga on Sundays, reset Saturdays, or getting up 30 minutes before everyone else so you can give your spirit some quiet? Or maybe it was reading a book for pleasure. Was it hopping on that exercise equipment for 15 minutes or maybe letting a call go to voicemail from that person always asking for something from you? What’s felt loving to you?
Then pick 3 things you want to give yourself and write them on a physical piece of paper. Post that paper somewhere you pass by frequently, reminding yourself you’ve already got this, you already know what to do, and you deserve those loving things.
As my therapist says, “You are the expert of you.” Chances are high you already know, deep down, what works for you. And if you don’t have all the answers yet, don’t despair; I have faith that if you lead with curiosity and gentleness, you can find what fits.
I’m praying for you all the good things
~j
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